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به وبلاگ آموزشگاه پاسارگاد خوش آمدید
به وبلاگ آموزشگاه پاسارگاد خوش آمدید

آموزش زبان انگليسي براي تمام سطوح
 
 
MMB

بناب، خ دانشجو، ساختمان صالح مطلق 2،
طبقه 2
تلفن های تماس:
7225189 ،09141764261
09122896087،

mohsen_mofarreh@yahoo.com

 

موضوعات

Vocabulary

IDIOMS

Grammar

سال اول دبیرستان

سال دوم دبیرستان

سال سوم دبیرستان

پیش دانشگاهی 1

پیش دانشگاهی 2

شعر انگلیسی

پیش به سوی موفقیت

داستان انگلیسی

Jokes

جملات حکیمانه

Common Mistakes in English

ضرب المثل

منابع مفید برای یادگیری زبان

مناسبت ها

لهجه ی احساس

films’ titbits

IELTS & TOEFL VOCABULARY

IELTS & TOEFL READING

IELTS & TOEFL GRAMMAR

مطالب فارسی

مهارت هاي مفید برای یادگیری زبان انگليسي

خلوت دوست

نگاهي كلي به زبان هاي مهم جهان

مردان بزرگ

TOEFL

علمی (science)

پاسارگاد

لیست کتا بهای الکترونیکی موجود در کتابخانه مجازی

IELTS

Tenses in English

Downloads

 

پیوند ها

دانلود رایگان کتاب گرامر زبان انگلیسی

الفبای فونتیک با تلفظ

کنکور جامع آموزشی و کنکور آنلاین

آزمون آنلاین

فهرست کلیه سایتهای علمی ایران

شبکه علمی کشور

دایرکتوری سایتهای دولتی

سپاس معلم!

دوزلی اوغلان

کتابهای درسی متعلق به وزارت آموزش و پرورش

دانلود نرم افزار

TOEFL

Online Dictionaries 2

IELTS Practice 1

دانشگاه هاي ايران

IELTS Practice 3

IELTS Practice 4

IELTS Practice 5

Online Dictionaries

Saber and his nice weblog

يك معلم

صداي معلمان كوير سربداران

متن کتاب‌های درسی

وبلاگ‌هاي آموزشي وپرورشي

My student Masoud

let's think together

ترجمه مطبوعاتی

داستان کوتاه انگلیسی

احمدی سرگروه زبان کنگان

آموزش و پرورش ایران

جوجه زبان شناس

وزارت آموزش و پرورش

اندیشه های بزرگ

My Privacy

جدیدترین فیلمهای هالیوود

هاشمی سرگروه زبان آزاد تویسرکان

An Ultimate source for Learning English

فال حافظ

سايت سازمان سنجش آموزش كشور

آدرس اينترنتي واحدهاي دانشگاه آزاد اسلامي

متن آهنگ هاي انگلیسی

یک فنجون چایی داغ

دانلود رایگان فیلم با زیرنویس

قالب وبلاگ

 

مطالب اخير

Film Vocabulary

Idioms related to music

Gerunds vs Infinitives

Health and Healthcare: Useful Vocabulary

An answer to a nice comment

فرهنگ نامه تصویری Macmillan Children’s Dictionary

Present Perfect Tense

Wedding Daze

Tag Questions

پاســـارگاد زادگاه تمدن

 

نويسندگان

MMB

student

 

Film Vocabulary

Film Vocabulary

To direct

a film

A film director

A screenplay (the actions and diaogue of a film)

Actor(s) (actress(es) - still used in Europe for female actors)

The soundtrack consists of the dialogues, the

film score (instrumental music), the sound effects and silence.

The sets (the background)

The lighting

The props (objects)

The special effects (images usually created by computer)

To shoot (film) in the studio

To shoot on location (outside the studio)

The shots (a camera image)

 

PICTURE GENRES

Picture (UK) / movie (US)

Feature film (long)

Short film

Silent film

Adventure film

Disaster film

Thriller (that keeps you guessing)

Musical

Animated film/cartoon

documentary film

More types: gangster film, detective film, western, comedy, drama,

science fiction film or space opera, war film, horror film …

 

OTHER USEFUL VOCABULARY

Motion-picture industry

Credits (the names at the end of the film)

To screen a novel (adapt it)

An extra (the people in the films who are not actors)

A stuntman (the person who does the dangerous scenes instead of an actor)

A stunt (a dangerous part of filming usually performed by a stuntman)

An understudy (the person who will replace the actor in case of an emergency - usually in the theatre)

To focus (when the camera lense zooms in)

Blurred (without any defined lines, hard to see)

To dub (to translate the film into another language using voice actors)

An American film dubbed in French

The voice-over (the narration)

The subtitles (a transaltion at the bottom of the screen)

Original version with subtitles

 A cine buff, moviegoer (somebody who loves going to the cinema)

A slow motion (when the action is sower than normal)

A fast motion (the opposite of slow motion)

A trailer (a small part of the film used in cinemas to advertise it)

A flop (an unsuccessful film)

 A box office success / blockbuster

 

سه شنبه دهم شهریور 1388 |

 

Idioms related to music

Idioms related to music


Music makes the people come together!

Music makes the people come together!

Everybody loves music and that’s why in English we have plenty of idioms that refer to musical instruments. These expressions are really good fun and very common so learn them and impress your friends!!!                                                                                                                                                                              And all that jazz

This idiom means that everything related or similar is included.
Bells on
(USA) To be somewhere with bells on means to arrive there happy and delighted to attend.
Blow your own horn
If you blow your own horn, you boast about your achievements and abilities. (’Blow your own trumpet’ is an alternative form.)
Blow your own trumpet
If someone blows their own trumpet, they boast about their talents and achievements.  (’Blow your own horn’ is an alternative form.)
Call the tune
The person who calls the tune makes the important decisions about something.
Change your tune
If someone changes their ideas or the way they talk about them, they change their tune.
Clear as a bell
If something is as clear as a bell, it is very clear or easy to understand.
Face the music
If you have to face the music, you have to accept the negative consequences of something you have done wrong.
Fiddle while Rome burns
If people are fiddling while Rome burns, they are wasting their time on futile things while problems threaten to destroy them.
Fine tuning
Small adjustments to improve something or to get it working are called fine tuning.
Fit as a fiddle
If you are fit as a fiddle, you are in perfect health.
For a song
If you buy or sell something for a song, it is very cheap.
It takes two to tango
This idiom is used to suggest that when things go wrong, both sides are involved and neither side is completely innocent.
March to the beat of your own drum
If people march to the beat of their own drum, they do things the way they want without taking other people into consideration.
Music to my ears
If something someone says is music to your ears, it is exactly what you had wanted to hear.
Play by ear
If you play by ear, you deal with something in an impromptu manner, without guidelines or rules. It refers to playing music without using written notation.
Play second fiddle
If you play second fiddle, you take a subordinate role behind someone more important.
Pull out all the stops
If you pull out all the stops, you do everything you possibly can to achieve the result you want.
See you on the big drum
A good night phrase to children.
Strike a chord
If strikes a chord, it is familiar to you, reminds you of something or is connected to you somehow.
Toot you own horn
If someone toot their own horn, they like to boast about their achievements.
Whistle for it
If someone says that you can whistle for something, they are determined to ensure that you don’t get it.
Whistle-stop tour
A whistle-stop tour is when someone visits a number of places quickly, not stopping for long.
Whistling Dixie
(USA) If someone is whistling Dixie, they talk about things in a more positive way than the reality.
Whistling in the dark
If someone is whistling in the dark, they believe in a positive result, even though everybody else is sure it will not happen.
You can’t unring a bell
This means that once something has been done, you have to live with the consequences as it can’t be undone.

سه شنبه دهم شهریور 1388 |

 

Gerunds vs Infinitives

Gerunds vs Infinitives


Here is a brief review of the differences between gerunds and infinitives:

Gerunds are formed with ING:

walking, talking, thinking, listening

Infinitives are formed with TO:

to walk, to talk, to think, to listen


Gerunds and infinitives can do several jobs:

Both gerunds and infinitives can be the subject of a sentence::

Writing in English is difficult.
To write in English is difficult.


Both gerunds and infinitives can be the object of a verb (but whether it is one or the other depends on the verb). In the case of the verb ‘like’ both are possible::

I like writing in English.
I like to write in English.


But…

Only gerunds can be the object of a preposition::

We are talking about writing in English.


It is often difficult to know when to use a gerund and when to use an infinitive. These guidelines may help you:

Gerunds are often used when actions are real, concrete or completed::

I stopped smoking.
(The smoking was real and happened until I stopped.)


Infinitives are often used when actions are unreal, abstract, or future::

I stopped to smoke.
(I was doing something else, and I stopped; the smoking had not happened yet.)

List of Common Verbs Followed By Gerunds

admit enjoy regret
advise finish remember
anticipate forget resent
appreciate keep resist
avoid mention risk
complete mind stop
consider miss suggest
delay postpone tolerate
deny practice understand
discuss quit
dislike recommend


List of Common Verbs Followed By Infinitives

agree prepare appear
fail forget pretend
ask hesitate promise
beg hope refuse
care learn regret
claim manage remember
consent mean seem
decide need threaten
demand offer wait
deserve plan wish
expect prepare want

سه شنبه دهم شهریور 1388 |

 

Health and Healthcare: Useful Vocabulary

Health and Healthcare: Useful Vocabulary


The words below are some of the most important used when talking about Health and Healthcare:

Health and Healthcare - Illnesses

ache - a sharp pain - Used in the following expressions:
ear ache
headache
stomach ache
toothache Other illnesses:
cancer
cold
cough
flu
heart attack
heart disease
infection
infectious disease
pain
virus

Health and Healthcare - Minor Injuries

bruise - an injury that doesn’t break the skin but results in making the skin darker (black, blue or purple)
cut - when the skin opens and produces blood
graze - a cut on the surface of the skin which is not as deep
wound - an injury (often producing blood and generally used to talk about a battle/war)

Health and Healthcare - Treatment

bandage - a piece of soft material that covers and protects an injured part of the body
check-up - the name of a general visit to the doctor
dose (of medicine)
drugs
injection
to give someone an injection (v)
medicine
take medicine (v)
operation
pain-killer - the tablets (medicine) that you take to help you with pain
pill - any round/oval medical tablet (but also specifically used to talk about the contraceptive medicine)
plaster - the sticky band that you put on a small cut
tablet - a square pill
tranquilizer - medicine to make an animal (or sometimes a person) be calmer

Health and Healthcare - People

dentist
doctor
general practitioner - the general name for a private doctor (with no specialisation)
midwife - the woman/man who helps mothers give birth to their children
nurse
patient
specialist
surgeon - the doctor who performs operations

Health and Healthcare - Places

hospital
operating theatre - where operations take place
surgery - a general word used for operations or for the operating theatre
waiting room - part of a hospital/clinic where people wait before the doctor is ready
ward - the department of a hospital

Health and Healthcare - Verbs

catch a cold
cure a disease
heal an illness/wound
hurt your knee
injure yourself
operate on a person
prescribe some medicinetreat a patient
Health and Healthcare - Nouns related to the verbs a prescription - a note from the doctor needed to get medicine in a pharmacy
 
a treatment - the solution offered by a doctor for an illness 

Health and Healthcare - Adjectives

fit
ill
sick
feel sick
be sick
vomit
healthy
unhealthy
painful
unwell
well

سه شنبه دهم شهریور 1388 |

 

An answer to a nice comment

You posses humility, courage and power. Humility because you are willing to learn. Courage because you are willing to break through your fears and go after your dreams. Power because you’re not just dreaming about improving your life, you are doing something about it.

سه شنبه بیست و هفتم مرداد 1388 |

 

فرهنگ نامه تصویری Macmillan Children’s Dictionary

Download

پسورد  : www.taksoft.com

یکشنبه هجدهم مرداد 1388 |

 

Present Perfect Tense

 

I have sung

The present perfect tense is a rather important tense in English, but it gives speakers of some languages a difficult time. That is because it uses concepts or ideas that do not exist in those languages. In fact, the structure of the present perfect tense is very simple. The problems come with the use of the tense. In addition, there are some differences in usage between British and American English.

In this lesson we look at the structure and use of the present perfect, followed by a quiz to check your understanding:

How do we make the Present Perfect Tense?

The structure of the present perfect tense is:


ادامه مطلب

یکشنبه هجدهم مرداد 1388 |

 

Wedding Daze

No matter how hard

you try to plan your life, life has

a plan for you all its own!


ادامه مطلب

چهارشنبه چهاردهم مرداد 1388 |

 

Tag Questions

Tag Questions

ضمیمه های سوالی

 

 

A tag question is a special construction in English. It is a statement followed by a mini-question. The whole sentence is a "tag question", and the mini-question at the end is called a "question tag".

We use tag questions at the end of statements to ask for confirmation. They mean something like: "Am I right?" or "Do you agree?" They are very common in English.

The basic structure is:

+
Positive statement,

-
negative tag?

Snow is white,

isn't it?

-
Negative statement,

+
positive tag?

You don't like me,

do you?

 

Look at these examples with positive statements:

positive statement [+] negative tag [-] notes:
subject auxiliary main verb   auxiliary not personal
pronoun
(same as subject)
 
You are coming,   are n't you?  
We have finished,   have n't we?  
You do like coffee, do n't you?  
You like coffee, do n't you? You (do) like...
They will help,   wo n't they? won't = will not
I can come,   can 't I?  
We must go,   must n't we?  
He should try harder, should n't he?  
You   are English, are n't you? no auxiliary for main verb be present & past
John   was there, was n't he?

 

Look at these examples with negative statements:

negative statement [-] positive tag [+]
subject auxiliary   main verb     auxiliary personal
pronoun
(same as subject)
It is n't raining,     is it?
We have never seen   that, have we?
You do n't like   coffee, do you?
They will not help,     will they?
They wo n't report   us, will they?
I can never do   it right, can I?
We must n't tell   her, must we?
He should n't drive   so fast, should he?
You     are n't English, are you?
John     was not there, was he?

 

Some special cases:


ادامه مطلب

شنبه دهم مرداد 1388 |

 

پاســـارگاد زادگاه تمدن

مقدمه

پاسارگاد بر مبناي نياز علاقمندان يادگيري زبان انگليسي و با هدف ارايه مجموعه­اي متنوع از خدمات آموزشي، کمک آموزشي و مشاوره­اي در فضاي واقعي و مجازي تأسيس شده و بهره­مندي شما از خدمات مختلف آن، افتخاري براي ما و انگيزه­اي براي بهبود مستمر کيفي و کمي خدمات مي‌باشد.

در آموزشگاه زبان پاسارگاد، با توجه به نیازهای مختلف افراد در خصوص یادگیری زبان انگلیسی، برنامه‌های متنوع و مختلفی تدوین شده است. دوره‌های زبان انگلیسی شامل دوره‌های ترمیک مکالمه، دوره‌های آماده سازی آزمون‌های معتبـــر بین‌المللی IELTS, TOEFL و سایر آزمون‌ها به صورت خصوصی و نیمه خصوصی، کارگاه‌های عملی ترجمه (متون مطبوعاتی و سیاسی)، کلاس‌های نوار و فیلم برای تقویت گفت و شنود، کلاس‌های بحث آزاد، برگزاری همایش‌ها و کنفرانس‌ها در خصوص آموزش دوره‌های تربیت مدرس(T.T.C)  و ..... می‌باشد.

لازم به ذکر است که برنامه‌های این مرکز به گونه‌ای طراحی شده است که شما بتوانید زبان انگلیسی را در محل کار و زندگی روزانه به کار ببرید. با توجه به اطلاعاتی که در این بروشور تهیه شده است دوره‌ای را که با اهدافتان مناسب باشد انتخاب نمایید.

کارکنان این مرکز با کمال میل آماده پاسخگویی به هرگونه نیاز شما در زمینه آموزش می‌باشند. همیشه به یاد داشته باشید که موفقیت شما هدف ماست. پس ما متعهد هستیم که شما را در رسیدن به اهدافتان یاری کنیم.

منابع مورد استفاده

Natural English

كتب Natural English از آخرین سری كتب آموزش زبان انگلیسی در مقطع Upper-Intermediate  چاپ 2005 Oxford است. آنچه این دوره را از دوره‌های مشابه متمایز می‌كند، تاكید بسیار آن بر یادگیری اصطلاحات روزمره و عامیانه به همان صورتی است كه انگلیسی زبانان از آن استفاده می‌كنند. در این كتاب گرامر به صورت خشك و دستوری نیست، ساختارهایی مورد بررسی و تمرین قرار می‌گیرند كه كاملاً كاربردی می‌باشند. این دوره به بهبود مهارت‌های چهارگانه زبان (Reading, Writing, Speaking, Listening) كمك می‌كند اما بر روی Speaking و Listening تاكید بیشتری دارد. تمرینات این کتاب به نحوی تنظیم شده است كه فعالیت‌های اصلی را خود دانشجو انجام داده و از این طریق باعث افزایش اعتماد به نفس درکاربرد زبان انگلیسی می‌شود.

Natural English دارای مشخصات كلیدی زیر است:

·         Jokes , life with Agrippine

این قسمت نگاهی طنز آمیز به اهداف هر درس داشته بعنوان پیش فعالیت، باعث آمادگی ذهن دانشجو برای شروع درس را فراهم می‌سازد.

·         Natural English Boxes

شامل عباراتی می‌شود كه در انگلیسی طبیعی روزمره مانند فیلم‌ها و مجلات كاربرد فراوان دارد.

·         Word booster

لغات و عبارات انگلیسی به صورت منظم تدریس و تمرین می‌شود.

·         Language Reference

این بخش كه در آخر كتاب گنجانده شده توضیحی كامل از نكات دستوری و واژگان بكار رفته در هر درس را ارائه می‌دهد.

·         Listening Booklet

كتابی جداگانه است كه به همراه كتاب اصلی ارایه می‌گردد و متن كامل تمام Listening های كتاب را در بر دارد. علاوه بر آن، تمرین‌هایی بر اساس این متون و نیز برای بهبود تلفظ در آن گنجانده شده است.

 

·         Test yourself

آزمونی است كه در پایان هر درس، نكات كلیدی آموخته شده در آن درس را مورد بازبینی و سنجش قرار می‌دهد.

·         Work book

شامل تمرین‌هایی برای دوره كردن و تقویت نكات دستوری و واژگان آموخته شده در هر درس است.

·         Puzzle Book

این كتاب دارای بازی‌های آموزشی برای تمرین واژگان، لیست لغات، پازل‌ها، جوك‌ها، كارتون‌ها و داستان‌های آموزنده كوتاهی است كه دارای كلید تمرینات نیز می باشد.

Interchange (Third Edition)

ويرايش سوم Interchange  تحولی بنيادين در كتاب‌های Interchange  ايجاد كرده است. همه،Interchange  را به عنوان موفق‌ترين كتب آموزشی براي تدريس انگليسی به لهجه آمريكايی به بزرگسالان و نوجوانان مي‌شناسند. در اين ويرايش آخرين يافته‌هاي تدريس و يادگيري آموزش انگليسی بكار گرفته شده و پيشنهادات و نقطه‌نظرهای اساتيد و دانشجويان از سراسر دنيا بررسی و مورد استفاده قرار گرفته است. تمرينات بيشتر در قسمت گرامر، ايجاد فرصت بيشتر به منظورتمرين Speaking، Listening استفاده از موضوعات روزمره، تاكيد بسيار بر Fluency (رواني كلام) و Accuracy (صحت بيان) از ويژگي‌های اين ويرايش است. همچون ويرايش‌هاي پيشين ، فلسفه بنيادين اين دوره بر اين مبنا استوار است كه بهترين روش يادگيري زبان، استفاده واقعي از آن در موقعيت‌های طبيعي است.

سایر منابع مورد استفاده در آموزشگاه پاسارگاد

·         504 absolutely Essential Words

·         Common Mistakes in English

·         Delta key

·         Developing Reading Skills

·         Grammar In Use

·         Interchange video books

·         Let’s Write English

·         Listen here

·         Movies

·         Practical English Usage

·         Select Readings

·         Selected parts of main course books

·         Short Stories

·          Steps to understanding

·         Tactics for listening

·         The Practical Writer with Reading

·         TOEFL Grammar flash

·         TOEFL Reading flash

·         TOEFL Word flash

·         Vocabulary by B. J. Thomas

·         Vocabulary for the High School Student

 

 

IELTS Sources:

·         101 Helpful Hints for IELTS

·          202 Useful Exercises for IELTS

·         404 Essential Words for IELTS

·         IELTS Test Cambridge: 1-5

·         IELTS Test Plus

·         Check Your Vocabulary for IELTS Examinations

 

TOEFL iBT Sources:

·         ETS Tests

·         Barron’s TOEFL

·         Practice Exercises for the TOEFL

·         Longman Complete Course for the TOEFL

·         Arco

·         Princeton

·         Essential Words for the TOEFL

·         Check your vocabulary

·         Practical Writer with Reading

·         Let’s Write English

·         Peterson’s

·         Delta key

پنجشنبه هشتم مرداد 1388 |

 

How to stop worrying and start living Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - A Law That Will Outlaw Many of

Your Worries

As a child, I grew up on a Missouri farm; and one day, while helping my mother pit cherries, I began to cry. My mother said: "Dale, what in the world are you crying about?" I blubbered: "I'm afraid I am going to be buried alive!"

I was full of worries in those days. When thunderstorms came, I worried for fear I would be killed by lightning. When hard times came, I worried for fear we wouldn't have enough to eat. I worried for fear I would go to hell when I died. I was terrified for fear an older boy, Sam White, would cut off my big ears-as he threatened to do. I worried for fear girls would laugh at me if I tipped my hat to them. I worried for fear no girl would ever be willing to marry me. I worried about what I would say to my wife immediately after we were married. I imagined that we would be married in some country church, and then get in a surrey with fringe on the top and ride back to the farm ... but how would I be able to keep the conversation going on that ride back to the farm? How? How? I pondered over that earth-shaking problem for many an hour as I walked behind the plough.

As the years went by, I gradually discovered that ninety-nine per cent of the things I worried about never happened.

For example, as I have already said, I was once terrified of lightning; but I now know that the chances of my being killed by lightning in any one year are, according to the National Safety Council, only one in three hundred and fifty thousand.

My fear of being buried alive was even more absurd: I don't imagine that one person in ten million is buried alive; yet I once cried for fear of it.

One person out of every eight dies of cancer. If I had wanted something to worry about, I should have worried about cancer -instead of being killed by lightning or being buried alive.

To be sure, I have been talking about the worries of youth and adolescence. But many of our adult worries are almost as absurd. You and I could probably eliminate nine-tenths of our worries right now if we would cease our fretting long enough to discover whether, by the law of averages, there was any real justification for our worries.

The most famous insurance company on earth-Lloyd's of London-has made countless millions out of the tendency of everybody to worry about things that rarely happen. Lloyd's of London bets people that the disasters they are worrying about will never occur. However, they don't call it betting. They call it insurance. But it is really betting based on the law of averages. This great insurance firm has been going strong for two hundred years; and unless human nature changes, it will still be going strong fifty centuries from now by insuring shoes and ships and sealing-wax against disasters that, by the law of average, don't happen nearly so often as people imagine.

If we examine the law of averages, we will often be astounded at the facts we uncover. For example, if I knew that during the next five years I would have to fight in a battle as bloody as the Battle of Gettysburg, I would be terrified. I would take out all the life insurance I could get. I would draw up my will and set all my earthly affairs in order. I would say: "I'll probably never live through that battle, so I had better make the most of the few years I have left." Yet the facts are that, according to the law of averages, it is just as dangerous, just as fatal, to try to live from age fifty to age fifty-five in peace­time as it was to fight in the Battle of Gettysburg. What I am trying to say is this: in times of peace, just as many people die per thousand between the ages of fifty and fifty-five as were killed per thousand among the 163,000 soldiers who fought at Gettysburg.

I wrote several chapters of this book at James Simpson's Num-Ti-Gah Lodge, on the shore of Bow Lake in the Canadian Rockies. While stopping there one summer, I met Mr. and Mrs. Herbert H. Salinger, of 2298 Pacific Avenue, San Francisco. Mrs. Salinger, a poised, serene woman, gave me the impression that she had never worried. One evening in front of the roaring fireplace, I asked her if she had ever been troubled by worry. "Troubled by it?" she said. "My life was almost ruined by it. Before I learned to conquer worry, I lived through eleven years of self-made hell. I was irritable and hot-tempered. I lived under terrific tension. I would take the bus every week from my home in San Mateo to shop in San Francisco. But even while shopping, I worried myself into a dither: maybe I had left the electric iron connected on the ironing board. Maybe the house had caught fire. Maybe the maid had run off and left the children. Maybe they had been out on their bicycles and been killed by a car. In the midst of my shopping, I would often worry myself into a cold perspiration and rush out and take the bus home to see if everything was all right. No wonder my first marriage ended in disaster.

"My second husband is a lawyer-a quiet, analytical man who never worries about anything. When I became tense and anxious, he would say to me: 'Relax. Let's think this out. ... What are you really worrying about? Let's examine the law of averages and see whether or not it is likely to happen.'


 

"For example, I remember the time we were driving from Albuquerque, New Mexico, to the Carlsbad Caverns-driving on a dirt road-when we were caught in a terrible rainstorm.

"The car was slithering and sliding. We couldn't control it. I was positive we would slide off into one of the ditches that flanked the road; but my husband kept repeating to me: 'I am driving very slowly. Nothing serious is likely to happen. Even if the car does slide into the ditch, by the law of averages, we won't be hurt.' His calmness and confidence quieted me.

"One summer we were on a camping trip in the Touquin Valley of the Canadian Rockies. One night we were camping seven thousand feet above sea level, when a storm threatened to tear our tents to shreds. The tents were tied with guy ropes to a wooden platform. The outer tent shook and trembled and screamed and shrieked in the wind. I expected every minute to see our tent torn loose and hurled through the sky. I was terrified! But my husband kept saying: 'Look, my dear, we are travelling with Brewster's guides. Brewster's know what they are doing. They have been pitching tents in these mountains for sixty years. This tent has been here for many seasons. It hasn't blown down yet and, by the law of averages, it won't blow away tonight; and even if it does, we can take shelter in another tent. So relax. ... I did; and I slept soundly the balance of the night.

"A few years ago an infantile-paralysis epidemic swept over our part of California. In the old days, I would have been hysterical. But my husband persuaded me to act calmly. We took all the precautions we could; we kept our children away from crowds, away from school and the movies. By consulting the Board of Health, we found out that even during the worst infantile-paralysis epidemic that California had ever known up to that time, only 1,835 children had been stricken in the entire state of California. And that the usual number was around two hundred or three hundred. Tragic as those figures are, we nevertheless felt that, according to the law of averages, the chances of any one child being stricken were remote.

" 'By the law of averages, it won't happen.' That phrase has destroyed ninety per cent of my worries; and it has made the past twenty years of my life beautiful and peaceful beyond my highest expectations."

General George Crook-probably the greatest Indian fighter in American history-says in his Autobiography that "nearly all the worries and unhappiness" of the Indians "came from their imagination, and not from reality."

As I look back across the decades, I can see that that is where most of my worries came from also. Jim Grant told me that that had been his experience, too. He owns the James A. Grant Distributing Company, 204 Franklin Street, New York City. He orders from ten to fifteen car-loads of Florida oranges and grapefruit at a time. He told me that he used to torture himself with such thoughts as: What if there's a train wreck? What if my fruit is strewn all over the countryside? What if a bridge collapses as my cars are going across it? Of course, the fruit was insured; but he feared that if he didn't deliver his fruit on time, he might risk the loss of his market. He worried so much that he feared he had stomach ulcers and went to a doctor. The doctor told him there was nothing wrong with him except jumpy nerves. "I saw the light then," he said, "and began to ask myself questions. I said to myself: 'Look here, Jim Grant, how many fruit cars have you handled over the years?' The answer was: 'About twenty-five thousand.' Then I asked myself: 'How many of those cars were ever wrecked?' The answer was: 'Oh-maybe five.' Then I said to myself: 'Only five-out of twenty-five thousand? Do you know what that means? A ratio of five thousand to one! In other words, by the law of averages, based on experience, the chances are five thousand to one against one of your cars ever being wrecked. So what are you worried about?'

"Then I said to myself: 'Well, a bridge may collapse!' Then I asked myself: 'How many cars have you actually lost from a bridge collapsing?' The answer was-'None.' Then I said to myself: 'Aren't you a fool to be worrying yourself into stomach ulcers over a bridge which has never yet collapsed, and over a railroad wreck when the chances are five thousand to one against it!'

"When I looked at it that way," Jim Grant told me, "I felt pretty silly. I decided then and there to let the law of averages do the worrying for me-and I have not been troubled with my 'stomach ulcer' since!"

When Al Smith was Governor of New York, I heard him answer the attacks of his political enemies by saying over and over: "Let's examine the record ... let's examine the record." Then he proceeded to give the facts. The next time you and I are worrying about what may happen, let's take a tip from wise old Al Smith: let's examine the record and see what basis there is, if any, for our gnawing anxieties. That is precisely what Frederick J. Mahlstedt did when he feared he was lying in his grave. Here is his story as he told it to one of our adult-education classes in New York:

"Early in June, 1944, I was lying in a slit trench near Omaha Beach. I was with the 999th Signal Service Company, and we had just 'dug in' in Normandy. As I looked around at that slit trench-just a rectangular hole in the ground-I said to myself: 'This looks just like a grave.' When I lay down and tried to sleep in it, it felt like a grave. I couldn't help saying to myself: 'Maybe this is my grave.' When the German bombers began coming over at 11 p.m., and the bombs started falling, I was scared stiff. For the first two or three nights I couldn't sleep at all. By the fourth or fifth night, I was almost a nervous wreck. I knew that if I didn't do something, I would go stark crazy. So I reminded myself that five nights had passed, and I was still alive; and so was every man in our outfit. Only two had been injured, and they had been hurt, not by German bombs, but by falling flak, from our own anti-aircraft guns. I decided to stop worrying by doing something constructive. So I built a thick wooden roof over my slit trench, to protect myself from flak. I thought of the vast area over which my unit was spread. I told myself that the only way I could be killed in that deep, narrow slit trench was by a direct hit; and I figured out that the chance of a direct hit on me was not one in ten thousand. After a couple of nights of looking at it in this way, I calmed down and slept even through the bomb raids!"


 

The United States Navy used the statistics of the law of averages to buck up the morale of their men. One ex-sailor told me that when he and his shipmates were assigned to high-octane tankers, they were worried stiff. They all believed that if a tanker loaded with high-octane gasoline was hit by a torpedo, it exploded and blew everybody to kingdom come.

But the U.S. Navy knew otherwise; so the Navy issued exact figures, showing that out of one hundred tankers hit by torpedoes sixty stayed afloat; and of the forty that did sink, only five sank in less than ten minutes. That meant time to get off the ship-it also meant casualties were exceedingly small. Did this help morale? "This knowledge of the law of averages wiped out my jitters," said Clyde W. Maas, of 1969 Walnut Street, St. Paul, Minnesota-the man who told this story. "The whole crew felt better. We knew we had a chance; and that, by the law of averages, we probably wouldn't be killed." To break the worry habit before it breaks you-here is Rule 3:

"Let's examine the record." Let's ask ourselves: "What are the chances, according to the law of averages, that this event I am worrying about will ever occur?"

چهارشنبه سی و یکم تیر 1388 |

 

How to stop worrying and start living 7

Chapter 7 - Don't Let the Beetles Get You Down

Here is a dramatic story that I'll probably remember as long as I live. It was told to me by Robert Moore, of 14 Highland Avenue, Maplewood, New Jersey.

"I learned the biggest lesson of my life in March, 1945," he said, "I learned it under 276 feet of water off the coast of Indo-China. I was one of eighty-eight men aboard the submarine Baya S.S. 318. We had discovered by radar that a small Japanese convoy was coming our way. As daybreak approached, we submerged to attack. I saw through the periscope a Jap destroyer escort, a tanker, and a minelayer. We fired three torpedoes at the destroyer escort, but missed. Something went haywire in the mechanics of each torpedo. The destroyer, not knowing that she had been attacked, continued on. We were getting ready to attack the last ship, the minelayer, when suddenly she turned and came directly at us. (A Jap plane had spotted us under sixty feet of water and had radioed our position to the Jap minelayer.) We went down to 150 feet, to avoid detection, and rigged for a depth charge. We put extra bolts on the hatches; and, in order to make our sub absolutely silent, we turned off the fans, the cooling system, and all electrical gear.

"Three minutes later, all hell broke loose. Six depth charges exploded all around us and pushed us down to the ocean floor -a depth of 276 feet. We were terrified. To be attacked in less than a thousand feet of water is dangerous-less than five hundred feet is almost always fatal. And we were being attacked in a trifle more than half of five hundred feet of water -just about knee-deep, as far as safety was concerned. For fifteen hours, that Jap minelayer kept dropping depth charges.

If a depth charge explodes within seventeen feet of a sub, the concussion will blow a hole in it. Scores of these depth charges exploded within fifty feet of us. We were ordered 'to secure'- to lie quietly in our bunks and remain calm. I was so terrified I could hardly breathe. 'This is death,' I kept saying to myself over and over. 'This is death! ... This is death!' With the fans and cooling system turned off, the air inside the sub was over a hundred degrees; but I was so chilled with fear that I put on a sweater and a fur-lined jacket; and still I trembled with cold. My teeth chattered. I broke out in a cold, clammy sweat. The attack continued for fifteen hours. Then ceased suddenly. Apparently the Jap minelayer had exhausted its supply of depth charges, and steamed away. Those fifteen hours of attack seemed like fifteen million years. All my life passed before me in review.

I remembered all the bad things I had done, all the little absurd things I had worried about. I had been a bank clerk before I joined the Navy. I had worried about the long hours, the poor pay, the poor prospects of advancement. I had worried because I couldn't own my own home, couldn't buy a new car, couldn't buy my wife nice clothes. How I had hated my old boss, who was always nagging and scolding! I remembered how I would come home at night sore and grouchy and quarrel with my wife over trifles. I had worried about a scar on my forehead-a nasty cut from an auto accident.

"How big all these worries seemed years ago! But how absurd they seemed when depth charges were threatening to blow me to kingdom come. I promised myself then and there that if I ever saw the sun and the stars again, I would never, never worry again. Never! Never! I Never!!! I learned more about the art of living in those fifteen terrible hours in that submarine than I had learned by studying books for four years in Syracuse University."

We often face the major disasters of life bravely-and then let the trifles, the "pains in the neck", get us down. For example, Samuel Pepys tells in his Diary about seeing Sir Harry Vane's head chopped off in London. As Sir Harry mounted the platform, he was not pleading for his life, but was pleading with the executioner not to hit the painful boil on his neck!

That was another thing that Admiral Byrd discovered down in the terrible cold and darkness of the polar nights-that his men fussed more about the ' 'pains in the neck" than about the big things. They bore, without complaining, the dangers, the hardships, and the cold that was often eighty degrees below zero. "But," says Admiral Byrd, "I know of bunkmates who quit speaking because each suspected the other of inching his gear into the other's allotted space; and I knew of one who could not eat unless he could find a place in the mess hall out of sight of the Fletcherist who solemnly chewed his food twenty-eight times before swallowing.

"In a polar camp," says Admiral Byrd, "little things like that have the power to drive even disciplined men to the edge of insanity."

And you might have added, Admiral Byrd, that "little things" in marriage drive people to the edge of insanity and cause "half the heartaches in the world."

At least, that is what the authorities say. For example, Judge Joseph Sabath of Chicago, after acting as arbiter in more than forty thousand unhappy marriages, declared: "Trivialities are at the bottom of most marital unhappiness"; and Frank S. Hogan, District Attorney of New York County, says: "Fully half the cases in our criminal courts originate in little things. Bar-room bravado, domestic wrangling, an insulting remark, a disparaging word, a rude action-those are the little things that lead to assault and murder. Very few of us are cruelly and greatly wronged. It is the small blows to our self-esteem, the indignities, the little jolts to our vanity, which cause half the heartaches in the world."

When Eleanor Roosevelt was first married, she "worried for days" because her new cook had served a poor meal. "But if that happened now," Mrs. Roosevelt says, "I would shrug my shoulders and forget it." Good. That is acting like an adult emotionally. Even Catherine the Great, an absolute autocrat, used to laugh the thing off when the cook spoiled a meal.

Mrs. Carnegie and I had dinner at a friend's house in Chicago. While carving the meat, he did something wrong. I didn't notice it; and I wouldn't have cared even if I had noticed it But his wife saw it and jumped down his throat right in front of us. "John," she cried, "watch what you are doing! Can't you ever learn to serve properly!"

Then she said to us: "He is always making mistakes. He just doesn't try." Maybe he didn't try to carve; but I certainly give him credit for trying to live with her for twenty years. Frankly, I would rather have eaten a couple of hot dogs with mustard-in an atmosphere of peace-than to have dined on Peking duck and shark fins while listening to her scolding.


 

Shortly after that experience, Mrs. Carnegie and I had some friends at our home for dinner. Just before they arrived, Mrs. Carnegie found that three of the napkins didn't "I rushed to the cook," she told me later, "and found that the other three napkins had gone to the laundry. The guests were at the door. There was no time to change. I felt like bursting into tears! All I could think was: 'Why did this stupid mistake have to spoil my whole evening?' Then I thought-well-why let it? I went in to dinner, determined to have a good time. And I did. I would much rather our friends think I was a sloppy housekeeper," she told me, "than a nervous, bad-tempered one. And anyhow, as far as I could make out, no one noticed the napkins!"

A well-known legal maxim says: De minimis non curat lex- "the law does not concern itself with trifles." And neither should the worrier-if he wants peace of mind.

Much of the time, all we need to overcome the annoyance of trifles is to affect a shifting of emphasis-set up a new, and pleasurable, point of view in the mind. My friend Homer Croy, who wrote They Had to See Paris and a dozen other books, gives a wonderful example of how this can be done. He used to be driven half crazy, while working on a book, by the rattling of the radiators in his New York apartment. The steam would bang and sizzle-and he would sizzle with irritation as he sat at his desk.

"Then," says Homer Croy, "I went with some friends on a camping expedition. While listening to the limbs crackling in the roaring fire, I thought how much they sounded like the crackling of the radiators. Why should I like one and hate the other? When I went home I said to myself: 'The crackling of the limbs in the fire was a pleasant sound; the sound of the radiators is about the same-I'll go to sleep and not worry about the noise.' And I did. For a few days I was conscious of the radiators; but soon I forgot all about them.

"And so it is with many petty worries. We dislike them and get into a stew, all because we exaggerate their importance. ..."

Disraeli said: "Life is too short to be little." "Those words," said Andre Maurois in This Week magazine, "have helped me through many a painful experience: often we allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. ... Here we are on this earth, with only a few more decades to live, and we lose many irreplaceable hours brooding over grievances that, in a year's time, will be forgotten by us and by everybody. No, let us devote our life to worth-while actions and feelings, to great thoughts, real affections and enduring undertakings. For life is too short to be little."

Even so illustrious a figure as Rudyard Kipling forgot at times that "Life is too short to be little". The result? He and his brother-in-law fought the most famous court battle in the history of Vermont-a battle so celebrated that a book has been written about it: Rudyard Kipling's Vermont Feud.

The story goes like this: Kipling married a Vermont girl, Caroline Balestier, built a lovely home in Brattleboro, Vermont; settled down and expected to spend the rest of his life there. His brother-in-law, Beatty Balestier, became Kipling's best friend. The two of them worked and played together.

Then Kipling bought some land from Balestier, with the understanding that Balestier would be allowed to cut hay off it each season. One day, Balestier found Kipling laying out a flower garden on this hayfield. His blood boiled. He hit the ceiling. Kipling fired right back. The air over the Green Mountains of Vermont turned blue!

A few days later, when Kipling was out riding his bicycle, his brother-in-law drove a wagon and a team of horses across the road suddenly and forced Kipling to take a spill. And Kipling the man who wrote: "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you"- he lost his own head, and swore out a warrant for Balestier's arrest I A sensational trial followed. Reporters from the big cities poured into the town. The news flashed around the world. Nothing was settled. This quarrel caused Kipling and his wife to abandon their American home for the rest of their lives. All that worry and bitterness over a mere trifle! A load of hay.

Pericles said, twenty-four centuries ago: "Come, gentlemen, we sit too long on trifles." We do, indeed!

Here is one of the most interesting stories that Dr. Harry Emerson Fosdick ever told-a story about the battles won and lost by a giant of the forest:

On the slope of Long's Peak in Colorado lies the ruin of 3 gigantic tree. Naturalists tell us that it stood for some four hundred years. It was a seedling when Columbus landed at San Salvador, and half grown when the Pilgrims settled at Plymouth. During the course of its long life it was struck by lightning fourteen times, and the innumerable avalanches and storms of four centuries thundered past it. It survived them all. In the end, however, an army of beetles attacked the tree and leveled it to the ground. The insects ate their way through the bark and gradually destroyed the inner strength of the tree by their tiny but incessant attacks. A forest giant which age had not withered, nor lightning blasted, nor storms subdued, fell at last before beetles so small that a man could crush them between his forefinger and his thumb.

Aren't we all like that battling giant of the forest? Don't we manage somehow to survive the rare storms and avalanches and lightning blasts of We, only to let our hearts be eaten out by little beetles of worry-little beetles that could be crushed between a finger and a thumb?

A few years ago, I travelled through the Teton National Park, in Wyoming, with Charles Seifred, highway superintendent for the state of Wyoming, and some of his friends. We were all going to visit the John D. Rockefeller estate in the park. But the car in which I was riding took the wrong turn, got lost, and drove up to the entrance of the estate an hour after the other cars had gone in. Mr. Seifred had the key that unlocked the private gate, so he waited in the hot, mosquito-infested woods for an hour until we arrived. The mosquitoes were enough to drive a saint insane. But they couldn't triumph over Charles Seifred. While waiting for us, he cut a limb off an aspen tree-and made a whistle of it. When we arrived, was he cussing the mosquitoes? No, he was playing his whistle. I have kept that whistle as a memento of a man who knew how to put trifles in their place.

To break the worry habit before it breaks you, here is Rule 2:

Let's not allow ourselves to be upset by small things we should despise and forget. Remember "Life is too short to be little."

چهارشنبه سی و یکم تیر 1388 |

 

How to stop worrying and start living Chapter 6

Chapter 6 - How To Crowd Worry Out Of Your Mind

I shall never forget the night, a few years ago, when Marion J. Douglas was a student in one of my classes. (I have not used his real name. He requested me, for personal reasons, not to reveal his identity.) But here is his real story as he told it before one of our adult-education classes. He told us how tragedy had struck at his home, not once, but twice. The first time he had lost his five-year-old daughter, a child he adored. He and his wife thought they couldn't endure that first loss; but, as he said: "Ten months later, God gave us another little girl-and she died in five days."

This double bereavement was almost too much to bear. "I couldn't take it," this father told us. "I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't rest or relax. My nerves were utterly shaken and my confidence gone." At last he went to doctors; one recommended sleeping pills and another recommended a trip. He tried both, but neither remedy helped. He said: "My body felt as if it were encased in a vice, and the jaws of the vice were being drawn tighter and tighter." The tension of grief-if you have ever been paralysed by sorrow, you know what he meant.

"But thank God, I had one child left-a four-year-old son. He gave me the solution to my problem. One afternoon as I sat around feeling sorry for myself, he asked: 'Daddy, will you build a boat for me?' I was in no mood to build a boat; in fact, I was in no mood to do anything. But my son is a persistent little fellow! I had to give in.

"Building that toy boat took about three hours. By the time it was finished, I realised that those three hours spent building that boat were the first hours of mental relaxation and peace that I had had in months!

"That discovery jarred me out of my lethargy and caused me to do a bit of thinking-the first real thinking I had done in months. I realised that it is difficult to worry while you are busy doing something that requires planning and thinking. In my case, building the boat had knocked worry out of the ring. So I resolved to keep busy.

"The following night, I went from room to room in the house, compiling a list of jobs that ought to be done. Scores of items needed to be repaired: bookcases, stair steps, storm windows, window-shades, knobs, locks, leaky taps. Astonishing as it seems, in the course of two weeks I had made a list of 242 items that needed attention.

"During the last two years I have completed most of them. Besides, I have filled my life with stimulating activities. Two nights per week I attend adult-education classes in New York. I have gone in for civic activities in my home town and I am now chairman of the school board. I attend scores of meetings. I help collect money for the Red Cross and No time for worry! That is exactly what Winston Churchill said when he was working eighteen hours a day at the height of the war. When he was asked if he worried about his tremendous responsibilities, he said: "I'm too busy. I have no time for worry."

Charles Kettering was in that same fix when he started out to invent a self-starter for automobiles. Mr. Kettering was, until his recent retirement, vice-president of General Motors in charge of the world-famous General Motors Research Corporation. But in those days, he was so poor that he had to use the hayloft of a barn as a laboratory. To buy groceries, he had to use fifteen hundred dollars that his wife had made by giving piano lessons; later, had to borrow five hundred dollars on his life insurance. I asked his wife if she wasn't worried at a time like that. "Yes," she replied, "I was so worried I couldn't sleep; but Mr. Kettering wasn't. He was too absorbed in his work to worry."

The great scientist, Pasteur, spoke of "the peace that is found in libraries and laboratories." Why is peace found there? Because the men in libraries and laboratories are usually too absorbed in their tasks to worry about themselves. Research men rarely have nervous breakdowns. They haven't time for such luxuries.

Why does such a simple thing as keeping busy help to drive out anxiety? Because of a law-one of the most fundamental laws ever revealed by psychology. And that law is: that it is utterly impossible for any human mind, no matter how brilliant, to think of more than one thing at any given time. You don't quite believe it? Very well, then, let's try an experiment.

Suppose you lean right back now, close your eyes, and try, at the same instant, to think of the Statue of Liberty and of what you plan to do tomorrow morning. (Go ahead, try it.)

You found out, didn't you, that you could focus on either thought in turn, but never on both simultaneously? Well, the same thing is true in the field of emotions. We cannot be pepped up and enthusiastic about doing something exciting and feel dragged down by worry at the very same time. One kind of emotion drives out the other. And it was that simple discovery that enabled Army psychiatrists to perform such miracles during the war.

When men came out of battle so shaken by the experience that they were called "psychoneurotic", Army doctors prescribed "Keep 'em busy" as a cure.

Every waking minute of these nerve-shocked men was filled with activity-usually outdoor activity, such as fishing, hunting, playing ball, golf, taking pictures, making gardens, and dancing. They were given no time for brooding over their terrible experiences.

"Occupational therapy" is the term now used by psychiatry when work is prescribed as though it were a medicine. It is not new. The old Greek physicians were advocating it five hundred years before Christ was born!

The Quakers were using it in Philadelphia in Ben Franklin's time. A man who visited a Quaker sanatorium in 1774 was shocked to see that the patients who were mentally ill were busy spinning flax. He thought these poor unfortunates were being exploited-until the Quakers explained that they found that their patients actually improved when they did a little work. It was soothing to the nerves.

Any psychiatrist will tell you that work-keeping busy- is one of the best anesthetics ever known for sick nerves. Henry W. Longfellow found that out for himself when he lost his young wife. His wife had been melting some sealing-wax at a candle one day, when her clothes caught on fire. Longfellow heard her cries and tried to reach her in time; but she died from the burns. For a while, Longfellow was so tortured by the memory of that dreadful experience that he nearly went insane; but, fortunately for him, his three small children needed his attention. In spite of his own grief, Longfellow undertook to be father and mother to his children. He took them for walks, told them stories, played games with them, and immortalised their companionship in his poem The Children's Hour. He also translated Dante; and all these duties combined kept him so busy that he forgot himself entirely, and regained his peace of mind. As Tennyson declared when he lost his most intimate friend, Arthur Hallam: "I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair."

Most of us have little trouble "losing ourselves in action" while we have our noses to the grindstone and are doing our day's work. But the hours after work-they are the dangerous ones. Just when we're free to enjoy our own leisure, and ought to be happiest-that's when the blue devils of worry attack us. That's when we begin to wonder whether we're getting anywhere in life; whether we're in a rut; whether the boss "meant anything" by that remark he made today; or whether we're getting bald.

When we are not busy, our minds tend to become a near-vacuum. Every student of physics knows that "nature abhors a vacuum". The nearest thing to a vacuum that you and I will probably ever see is the inside of an incandescent electric-light bulb. Break that bulb-and nature forces air in to fill the theoretically empty space.

Nature also rushes in to fill the vacant mind. With what? Usually with emotions. Why? Because emotions of worry, fear, hate, jealousy, and envy are driven by primeval vigour and the dynamic energy of the jungle. Such emotions are so violent that they tend to drive out of our minds all peaceful, nappy thoughts and emotions.

James L. Mursell, professor of education, Teachers' College, Columbia, puts it very well when he says: "Worry is most apt to ride you ragged not when you are in action, but when the day's work is done. Your imagination can run riot then and bring up all sorts of ridiculous possibilities and magnify each little blunder. At such a time," he continues, "your mind is like a motor operating without its load. It races and threatens to burn out its bearings or even to tear itself to bits. The remedy for worry is to get completely occupied doing something constructive."

But you don't have to be a college professor to realise this truth and put it into practice. During the war, I met a housewife from Chicago who told me how she discovered for herself that "the remedy for worry is to get completely occupied doing something constructive." I met this woman and her husband in the dining-car while I was travelling from New York to my farm in Missouri. (Sorry I didn't get their names-I never like to give examples without using names and street addresses- details that give authenticity to a story.)

This couple told me that their son had joined the armed forces the day after Pearl Harbour. The woman told me that she had almost wrecked her health worrying over that only son. Where was he? Was he safe? Or in action? Would he be wounded? Killed?

When I asked her how she overcame her worry, she replied: "I got busy." She told me that at first she had dismissed her maid and tried to keep busy by doing all her housework herself. But that didn't help much. "The trouble was," she said, "that I could do my housework almost mechanically, without using my mind. So I kept on worrying. While making the beds and washing the dishes I realised I needed some new kind of work that would keep me busy both mentally and physically every hour of the day. So I "That did it," she said. "I immediately found myself in a whirlwind of activity: customers swarming around me, asking for prices, sizes, colours. Never a second to think of anything except my immediate duty; and when night came, I could think of nothing except getting off my aching feet. As soon as I ate dinner, I fell into bed and instantly became unconscious. I had neither the time nor the energy to worry."

She discovered for herself what John Cowper Powys meant when he said, in The Art of Forgetting the Unpleasant: "A certain comfortable security, a certain profound inner peace, a kind of happy numbness, soothes the nerves of the human animal when absorbed in its allotted task."

And what a blessing that it is so! Osa Johnson, the world's most famous woman explorer, recently told me how she found release from worry and grief. You may have read the story of her life. It is called I Married Adventure. If any woman ever married adventure, she certainly did. Martin Johnson married her when she was sixteen and lifted her feet off the sidewalks of Chanute, Kansas, and set them down on the wild jungle trails of Borneo. For a quarter of a century, this Kansas couple travelled all over the world, making motion pictures of the vanishing wild life of Asia and Africa. Back in America nine years ago, they were on a lecture tour, showing their famous films. They took a plane out of Denver, bound for the Coast. The plane plunged into a mountain. Martin Johnson was killed instantly. The doctors said Osa would never leave her bed again. But they didn't know Osa Johnson. Three months later, she was in a wheel chair, lecturing before large audiences. In fact, she addressed over a hundred audiences that season-all from a wheel chair. When I asked her why she did it, she replied: "I did it so that I would have no time for sorrow and worry."

Osa Johnson had discovered the same truth that Tennyson had sung about a century earlier: "I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair."

Admiral Byrd discovered this same truth when he lived all alone for five months in a shack that was literally buried in the great glacial ice-cap that covers the South Pole-an ice-cap that holds nature's oldest secrets-an ice-cap covering an unknown continent larger than the United States and Europe combined. Admiral Byrd spent five months there alone. No other living creature of any kind existed within a hundred miles. The cold was so intense that he could hear his breath freeze and crystallise as the wind blew it past his ears. In his book Alone, Admiral Byrd tells all about those five months he spent in bewildering and soul-shattering darkness. The days were as black as the nights. He had to keep busy to preserve his sanity.

"At night," he says, "before blowing out the lantern, I formed the habit of blocking out the morrow's work. It was a case of assigning myself an hour, say, to the Escape Tunnel, half an hour to leveling drift, an hour to straightening up the fuel drums, an hour to cutting bookshelves in the walls of the food tunnel, and two hours to renewing a broken bridge in the man-hauling sledge. ...


 

"It was wonderful," he says, "to be able to dole out time in this way. It brought me an extraordinary sense of command over myself. ..." And he adds: "Without that or an equivalent, the days would have been without purpose; and without purpose they would have ended, as such days always end, in disintegration."

Note that last again: "Without purpose, the days would have ended, as such days always end, in disintegration."

If you and I are worried, let's remember that we can use good old-fashioned work as a medicine. That was said by no less an authority than the late Dr. Richard C. Cabot, formerly professor of clinical medicine at Harvard. In his book What Men Live By, Dr. Cabot says: "As a physician, I have had the happiness of seeing work cure many persons who have suffered from trembling palsy of the soul which results from overmastering doubts, hesitations, vacillation and fear. ... Courage given us by our work is like the self-reliance which Emerson has made for ever glorious."

If you and I don't keep busy-if we sit around and brood- we will hatch out a whole flock of what Charles Darwin used to call the "wibber gibbers". And the "wibber gibbers" are nothing but old-fashioned gremlins that will run us hollow and destroy our power of action and our power of will.

I know a business man in New York who fought the "wibber gibbers" by getting so busy that he had no time to fret and stew. His name is Tremper Longman, and his office is at 40 Wall Street. He was a student in one of my adult-education classes; and his talk on conquering worry was so interesting, so impressive, that I asked him to have supper with me after class; and we sat in a restaurant until long past midnight, discussing his experiences. Here is the story he told me: "Eighteen years ago, I was so worried I had insomnia. I was tense, irritated, and jittery. I felt I was headed for a nervous breakdown.

"I had reason to be worried. I was treasurer of the Crown Fruit and Extract Company, 418 West Broadway, New York. We had half a million dollars invested in strawberries packed in gallon tins. For twenty years, we had been selling these gallon tins of strawberries to manufactures of ice cream. Suddenly our sales stopped because the big ice-cream makers, such as National Dairy and Borden's, were rapidly increasing their production and were saving money and time by buying strawberries packed in barrels.

"Not only were we left with half a million dollars in berries we couldn't sell, but we were also under contract to buy a million dollars more of strawberries in the next twelve months! We had already borrowed $350,000 from the banks. We couldn't possibly pay off or renew these loans. No wonder I was worried!

"I rushed out to Watsonville, California, where our factory was located, and tried to persuade our president that conditions had changed, that we were facing ruin. He refused to believe it. He blamed our New York office for all the trouble-poor salesmanship.


 

"After days of pleading, I finally persuaded him to stop packing more strawberries and to sell our new supply on the fresh berry market in San Francisco. That almost solved our problems. I should have been able to stop worrying then; but I couldn't. Worry is a habit; and I had that habit.

"When I returned to New York, I began worrying about everything; the cherries we were buying in Italy, the pineapples we were buying in Hawaii, and so on. I was tense, jittery, couldn't sleep; and, as I have already said, I was heading for a nervous breakdown.

"In despair, I adopted a way of life that cured my insomnia and stopped my worries. I got busy. I got so busy with problems demanding all my faculties that I had no time to worry. I had been working seven hours a day. I now began working fifteen and sixteen hours a day. I got down to the office every morning at eight o'clock and stayed there every night until almost midnight. I took on new duties, new responsibilities. When I got home at midnight, I was so exhausted when I fell in bed that I became unconscious in a few seconds.

"I kept up this programme for about three months. I had broken the habit of worry by that time, so I returned to a normal working day of seven or eight hours. This event occurred eighteen years ago. I have never been troubled with insomnia or worry since then."

George Bernard Shaw was right. He summed it all up when he said: "The secret of being miserable is to have the leisure to bother about whether you are happy or not." So don't bother to think about it! Spit on your hands and get busy. Your blood will start circulating; your mind will start ticking -and pretty soon this whole positive upsurge of life in your body will drive worry from your mind. Get busy. Keep busy. It's the cheapest kind of medicine there is on this earth-and one of the best.

To break the worry habit, here is Rule 1:

Keep busy. The worried person must lose himself in action, lest be wither in despair.

چهارشنبه سی و یکم تیر 1388 |

 

How to stop worrying and start living 5

Chapter 5 - How to Eliminate Fifty Per Cent of Your Business Worries

IF you are a business man, you are probably saying to yourself right now: "The title of this chapter is ridiculous. I have been running my business for nineteen years; and I certainly know the answers if anybody does. The idea of anybody trying to tell me how I can eliminate fifty per cent of my business worries-it's absurd!"

Fair enough-I would have felt exactly the same way myself a few years ago if I had seen this title on a chapter. It promises a lot-and promises are cheap.

Let's be very frank about it: maybe I won't be able to help you eliminate fifty per cent of your business worries. In the last analysis, no one can do that, except yourself. But what I can do is to show you how other people have done it-and leave the rest to you!

You may recall that on page 25 of this book I quoted the world-famous Dr. Alexis Carrel as saying: "Business men who do not know how to fight worry die young."

Since worry is that serious, wouldn't you be satisfied if I could help you eliminate even ten per cent of your worries? ... Yes? ... Good! Well, I am going to show you how one business executive eliminated not fifty per cent of his worries, but seventy-five per cent of all the time he formerly spent in conferences, trying to solve business problems.

Furthermore, I am not going to tell you this story about a "Mr. Jones" or a "Mr. X" or "or a man I know in Ohio"- vague stories that you can't check up on. It concerns a very real person-Leon Shimkin, a partner and general manager of one of the foremost publishing houses in the United States: Simon and Schuster, Rockefeller Centre, New York 20, New York.

Here is Leon Shimkin's experience in his own words:

"For fifteen years I spent almost half of every business day holding conferences, discussing problems. Should we do this or that-do nothing at all? We would get tense; twist in our chairs; walk the floor; argue and go around in circles. When night came, I would be utterly exhausted. I fully expected to go on doing this sort of thing for the rest of my life. I had been doing it for fifteen years, and it never occurred to me that there was a better way of doing it. If anyone had told me that I could eliminate three-fourths of all the time I spent in those worried conferences, and three-fourths of my nervous strain-I would have thought he was a wild-eyed, slap-happy, armchair optimist. Yet I devised a plan that did just that. I have been using this plan for eight years. It has performed wonders for my efficiency, my health, and my happiness.

"It sounds like magic-but like all magic tricks, it is extremely simple when you see how it is done.


 

"Here is the secret: First, I immediately stopped the procedure I had been using in my conferences for fifteen years-a procedure that began with my troubled associates reciting all the details of what had gone wrong, and ending up by asking: 'What shall we do?' Second, I made a new rule-a rule that everyone who wishes to present a problem to me must first prepare and submit a memorandum answering these four questions:

"Question 1: What is the problem?

("In the old days we used to spend an hour or two in a worried conference without anyone's knowing specifically and concretely what the real problem was. We used to work ourselves into a lather discussing our troubles without ever troubling to write out specifically what our problem was.)

"Question 2: What is the cause of the problem?

("As I look back over my career, I am appalled at the wasted hours I have spent in worried conferences without ever trying to find out clearly the conditions which lay at the root of the problem.)

"Question 3: What are all possible solutions of the problem?

("In the old days, one man in the conference would suggest one solution. Someone else would argue with him. Tempers would flare. We would often get clear off the subject, and at the end of the conference no one would have written down all the various things we could do to attack the problem.)

"Question 4: What solution do you suggest?

("I used to go into a conference with a man who had spent hours worrying about a situation and going around in circles without ever once thinking through all possible solutions and then writing down: 'This is the solution I recommend.')

"My associates rarely come to me now with their problems. Why? Because they have discovered that in order to answer these four questions they have to get all the facts and think their problems through. And after they have done that they find, in three-fourths of the cases, they don't have to consult me at all, because the proper solution has popped out like a piece of bread popping out from an electric toaster. Even in those cases where consultation is necessary, the discussion takes about one-third the time formerly required, because it proceeds along an orderly, logical path to a reasoned conclusion.

"Much less time is now consumed in the house of Simon and Schuster in worrying and talking about what is wrong; and a lot more action is obtained toward making those things right."

My friend, Frank Bettger, one of the top insurance men in America, tells me he not only reduced his business worries, but nearly doubled his income, by a similar method.

"Years ago," says Frank Bettger, "when I first started to sell insurance, I was filled with a boundless enthusiasm and love for my work. Then something happened. I became so discouraged that I despised my work and thought of giving it up. I think I would have quit-if I hadn't got the idea, one Saturday morning, of sitting down and trying to get at the root of my worries.

"1. I asked myself first: 'Just what is the problem?.' The problem was: that I was not getting high enough returns for the staggering amount of calls I was making. I seemed to do pretty well at selling a prospect, until the moment came for closing a sale. Then the customer would say: 'Well, I'll think it over, Mr. Bettger. Come and see me again.' It was the time I wasted on these follow-up calls that was causing my depression.

"2. I asked myself: 'What are the possible solutions?' But to get the answer to that one, I had to study the facts. I got out my record book for the last twelve months and studied the figures.

"I made an astounding discovery! Right there in black and white, I discovered that seventy per cent of my sales had been closed on the very first interview! Twenty-three per cent of my sales had been closed on the second interview! And only seven per cent of my sales had been closed on those third, fourth, fifth, etc., interviews, which were running me ragged and taking up my time. In other words, I was wasting fully one half of my working day on a part of my business which was responsible for only seven per cent of my sales!

"3. 'What is the answer?' The answer was obvious. I immediately cut out all visits beyond the second interview, and spent the extra time building up new prospects. The results were unbelievable. In a very short time, I had almost doubled the cash value of every visit I made from a call!"

As I said, Frank Bettger is now one of the best-known life-insurance salesmen in America. He is with Fidelity Mutual of Philadelphia, and writes a million dollars' worth of policies a year. But he was on the point of giving up. He was on the point of admitting failure-until analysing the problem gave him a boost on the road to success.

Can you apply these questions to your business problems? To repeat my challenge-they can reduce your worries by fifty per cent. Here they are again:

1.  What is the problem?

2.  What is the CAUSE of the problem?

3.  What are all possible solutions to the problem?

4.  What solution do you suggest?

چهارشنبه سی و یکم تیر 1388 |

 

How to stop worrying and start living4

Chapter 4 - How To Analyse And Solve Worry Problems

I keep six honest serving-men

(They taught me all I knew):

Their names are What and Why and When

And How and Where and Who.

-Rudyard Kipling

Will the magic formula of Willis H. Carrier, described in Part One, Chapter 2, solve all worry problems? No, of course not. Then what is the answer? The answer is that we must equip ourselves to deal with different kinds of worries by learning the three basic steps of problem analysis. The three steps are:

1.  Get the facts.

2.   Analyse the facts.

3. Arrive at a decision-and then act on that decision.

Obvious stuff? Yes, Aristotle taught it-and used it. And you and I must use it too if we are going to solve the problems that are harassing us and turning our days and nights into veritable hells.

Let's take the first rule: Get the facts. Why is it so important to get the facts? Because unless we have the facts we can't possibly even attempt to solve our problem intelligently. Without the facts, all we can do is stew around in confusion. My idea? No, that was the idea of the late Herbert E. Hawkes, Dean of Columbia College, Columbia University, for twenty-two years. He had helped two hundred thousand students solve their worry problems; and he told me that "confusion is the chief cause of worry". He put it this way-he said: "Half the worry in the world is caused by people trying to make decisions before they have sufficient knowledge on which to base a decision. For example," he said, "if I have a problem which has to be faced at three o'clock next Tuesday, I refuse even to try to make a decision about it until next Tuesday arrives. In the meantime, I concentrate on getting all the facts that bear on the problem. I don't worry," he said, "I don't agonise over my problem. I don't lose any sleep. I simply concentrate on getting the facts. And by the time Tuesday rolls around, if I've got all the facts, the problem usually solves itself!"

I asked Dean Hawkes if this meant he had licked worry entirely. "Yes," he said, "I think I can honestly say that my live is now almost totally devoid of worry. I have found," he went on, "that if a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries usually evaporate in the light of knowledge."

Let me repeat that: "If a man will devote his time to securing facts in an impartial, objective way, his worries will usually evaporate in the light of knowledge."

But what do most of us do ? If we bother with facts at all- and Thomas Edison said in all seriousness: "There is no expedient to which a man will not resort to avoid the labour of thinking"-if we bother with facts at all, we hunt like bird dogs after the facts that bolster up what we already think-and ignore all the others! We want only the facts that justify our acts-the facts that fit in conveniently with our wishful thinking and justify our preconceived prejudices!

As Andre Maurois put it: "Everything that is in agreement with our personal desires seems true. Everything that is not puts us into a rage."

Is it any wonder, then, that we find it so hard to get at the answers to our problems? Wouldn't we have the same trouble trying to solve a second-grade arithmetic problem, if we went ahead on the assumption that two plus two equals five? Yet there are a lot of people in this world who make life a hell for themselves and others by insisting that two plus two equals five-or maybe five hundred!

What can we do about it? We have to keep our emotions out of our thinking; and, as Dean Hawkes put it, we must secure the facts in "an impartial, objective" manner.

That is not an easy task when we are worried. When we are worried, our emotions are riding high. But here are two ideas that I have found helpful when trying to step aside from my problems, in order to see the facts in a clear, objective manner.

1.   When trying to get the facts, I pretend that I am collecting this information not for myself, but for some other person. This helps me to take a cold, impartial view of the evidence. This helps me eliminate my emotions.

2.   While trying to collect the facts about the problem that is worrying me, I sometimes pretend that I am a lawyer preparing to argue the other side of the issue. In other words, I try to get all the facts against myself-all the facts that are damaging to my wishes, all the facts I don't like to face.

Then I write down both my side of the case and the other side of the case-and I generally find that the truth lies somewhere in between these two extremities.

Here is the point I am trying to make. Neither you nor I nor Einstein nor the Supreme Court of the United States is brilliant enough to reach an intelligent decision on any problem without first getting the facts. Thomas Edison knew that. At the time of his death, he had two thousand five hundred notebooks filled with facts about the problems he was facing.

So Rule 1 for solving our problems is: Get the facts. Let's do what Dean Hawkes did: let's not even attempt to solve our problems without first collecting all the facts in an impartial manner.

However, getting all the facts in the world won't do us any good until we analyse them and interpret them.

I have found from costly experience that it is much easier to analyse the facts after writing them Sown. In fact, merely writing the facts on a piece of paper and stating our problem clearly goes a long way toward helping us to reach a sensible decision. As Charles Kettering puts it: "A problem well stated is a problem half solved."

Let me show you all this as it works out in practice. Since the Chinese say one picture is worth ten thousand words, suppose I show you a picture of how one man put exactly what we are talking about into concrete action.

Let's take the case of Galen Litchfield-a man I have known for several years; one of the most successful American business men in the Far East. Mr. Litchfield was in China in 1942, when the Japanese invaded Shanghai. And here is his story as he told it to me while a guest in my home: "Shortly after the Japs took Pearl Harbour," Galen Litchfield began, "they came swarming into Shanghai. I was the manager of the Asia Life Insurance Company in Shanghai. They sent us an 'army liquidator'-he was really an admiral- and gave me orders to assist this man in liquidating our assets. I didn't have any choice in the matter. I could co-operate-or else. And the 'or else' was certain death.

"I went through the motions of doing what I was told, because I had no alternative. But there was one block of securities, worth $750,000, which I left off the list I gave to the admiral. I left that block of securities off the list because they belonged to our Hong Kong organisation and had nothing to do with the Shanghai assets. All the same, I feared I might be in hot water if the Japs found out what I had done. And they soon found out.

"I wasn't in the office when the discovery was made, but my head accountant was there. He told me that the Jap admiral flew into a rage, and stamped and swore, and called me a thief and a traitor! I had defied the Japanese Army! I knew what that meant. I would be thrown into the Bridge house!

"The Bridge house 1 The torture chamber of the Japanese Gestapo! I had had personal friends who had killed themselves rather than be taken to that prison. I had had other friends who had died in that place after ten days of questioning and torture. Now I was slated for the Bridge house myself!

"What did I do? I heard the news on Sunday afternoon. I suppose I should have been terrified. And I would have been terrified if I hadn't had a definite technique for solving my problems. For years, whenever I was worried I had always gone to my typewriter and written down two questions-and the answers to these questions:

"1. What am I worrying about?

"2. What can I do about it?

"I used to try to answer those questions without writing them down. But I stopped that years ago. I found that writing down both the questions and the answers clarifies my thinking.

So, that Sunday afternoon, I went directly to my room at the Shanghai Y.M.C.A. and got out my typewriter. I wrote: "I. What am I worrying about?

I am afraid I will be thrown into the Bridge house tomorrow morning.

"Then I typed out the second question:

"2. What can I do about it?

"I spent hours thinking out and writing down the four courses of action I could take-and what the probable consequence of each action would be.

I can try to explain to the Japanese admiral. But he "no speak English". If I try to explain to him through an interpreter, I may stir him up again. That might mean death, for he is cruel, would rather dump me in the Bridge house than bother talking about it.

1.  I can try to escape. Impossible. They keep track of me all the time. I have to check in and out of my room at the Y.M.C.A. If I try to escape, I'll probably be captured and shot.

2.  I can stay here in my room and not go near the office again. If I do, the Japanese admiral will be suspicion, will probably send soldiers to get me and throw me into the Bridge-house without giving me a chance to say a word.

3.  I can go down to the office as usual on Monday morning. If I do, there is a chance that the Japanese admiral may be so busy that he will not think of what I did. Even if he does think of it, he may have cooled off and may not bother me. If this happens, I am all right. Even if he does bother me, I'll still have a chance to try to explain to him. So, going down to the office as usual on Monday morning, and acting as if nothing had gone wrong gives me two chances to escape the Bridge-house.

"As soon as I thought it all out and decided to accept the fourth plan-to go down to the office as usual on Monday morning-I felt immensely relieved.

"When I entered the office the next morning, the Japanese admiral sat there with a cigarette dangling from his mouth. He glared at me as he always did; and said nothing. Six weeks later-thank God-he went back to Tokyo and my worries were ended.

"As I have already said, I probably saved my life by sitting down that Sunday afternoon and writing out all the various steps I could take and then writing down the probable consequences of each step and calmly coming to a decision. If I hadn't done that, I might have floundered and hesitated and done the wrong thing on the spur of the moment. If I hadn't thought out my problem and come to a decision, I would have been frantic with worry all Sunday afternoon. I wouldn't have slept that night. I would have gone down to the office Monday morning with a harassed and worried look; and that alone might have aroused the suspicion of the Japanese admiral and spurred him to act.

"Experience has proved to me, time after time, the enormous value of arriving at a decision. It is the failure to arrive at a fixed purpose, the inability to stop going round and round in maddening circles, that drives men to nervous breakdowns and living hells. I find that fifty per cent of my worries vanishes once I arrive at a clear, definite decision; and another forty per cent usually vanishes once I start to carry out that decision.

"So I banish about ninety per cent of my worries by taking these four steps:

"1. Writing down precisely what I am worrying about.

"2. Writing down what I can do about it.

"3. Deciding what to do.

"4. Starting immediately to carry out that decision."

Galen Litchfield is now the Far Eastern Director for Starr, Park and Freeman, Inc., III John Street, New York, representing large insurance and financial interests.

In fact, as I said before, Galen Litchfield today is one of the most important American business men in Asia; and he confesses to me that he owes a large part of his success to this method of analysing worry and meeting it head-on.

Why is his method so superb? Because it is efficient, concrete, and goes directly to the heart of the problem. On top of all that, it is climaxed by the third and indispensable rule: Do something about it. Unless we carry out our action, all our fact-finding and analysis is whistling upwind-it's a sheer waste of energy.

William James said this: "When once a decision is reached and execution is the order of the day, dismiss absolutely all responsibility and care about the outcome." In this case, William James undoubtedly used the word "care" as a synonym for "anxiety".) He meant-once you have made a careful decision based on facts, go into action. Don't stop to reconsider. Don't begin to hesitate worry and retrace your steps. Don't lose yourself in self-doubting which begets other doubts. Don't keep looking back over your shoulder.

I once asked Waite Phillips, one of Oklahoma's most prominent oil men, how he carried out decisions. He replied: "I find that to keep thinking about our problems beyond a certain point is bound to create confusion and worry. There comes a time when any more investigation and thinking are harmful. There comes a time when we must decide and act and never look back."

Why don't you employ Galen Litchfield's technique to one of your worries right now?

Here is question No. 1 -What am I worrying about? (Please pencil the answer to that question in the space below.)

Question No. 2 -What can I do about it? (Please write your answer to that question in the space below.)

Question No. 3 -Here is what I am going to do about it.

Question No. 4 -When am I going to start doing it?

چهارشنبه سی و یکم تیر 1388 |